Anxiety can make both parents and children feel helpless and out of control. We know that it can be extremely challenging to know what to do when your child is in the midst of anxiety. It’s important to keep in mind that you cannot do anything to completely take your child’s anxiety away, but you can be a strong and steady presence in the face of their anxiety. You can empower your child to cope with their anxiety when they know that you are there to help them through it.

You should always let your child take the lead in letting you know what they need. They are stronger than you think and what works for one child may not work for another. However, these are some ideas that may help you get started on your journey of finding what works best.

When your child is dealing with anxiety:

1. Tell them that they are safe and loved. This may sound simple, but sometimes knowing you are there as a comfort is what they need to hear.
2. Encourage your child to take control and do what they need to do. Sometimes just telling your child “Whatever you want to do is fine with me.” or “Do what you need to do. Even if it’s nothing.” gives them the power they need to move forward. Often times, children need to be given permission to respond in the way that feels best for them.
3. It may be helpful to encourage your child to go for a walk with you. Walking will help your child burn off some of the chemicals that are causing the physical symptoms related to anxiety. Incorporate breathing techniques on your walk to make the physical activity even more beneficial.

When your child is not currently dealing with anxiety:

1. Ask your child to teach you about their anxiety. Have them talk, in as much detail as they are comfortable, about what their anxiety feels like. This will empower them to share their feelings and worries with you. It will also help you feel empowered when you know what your child feels like when they are drowning in anxiety.
2. While talking about what their anxiety feels like, ask what they want you to do when they are struggling. Do they like being encouraged to go on walks? Do they like having their hand held or their back rubbed? This will give you a plan on how to deal with tough moments in the future.
3. Practice breathing exercises together. If your child is comfortable with these exercises when anxiety is not present, it will be easier for them to incorporate them in difficult moments.
4. Remind them that you love them just the way they are. Remind them that you love all of them. This may take away any embarrassment or shame they are feeling regarding their anxiety. It also reminds them that you are their safe space.

For more information and the physiology behind anxiety, check out this article!
https://www.heysigmund.com/building-emotional-intelligence-what-to-say-to-children-with-anxiety/