Toddler whining is an age-appropriate developmental step in learning communication. Before learning how to communicate their needs effectively using words, toddlers often act out with whining and tantrums. Toddlers are not whining for fun, manipulation, or to purposefully annoy you. They are whining to meet a need. This need may not make sense to you, but to a toddler, it is probably something extremely important Sometimes validating their concern can alleviate the whining. For example, if a toddler is whining for a cookie before dinner, you can say, “I know you want a cookie. They are so delicious! We are going to eat dinner first and we can talk about cookies once we have healthy food in your belly.”

To look even further at the why behind whining, go through a checklist in your head of your child’s needs at that current moment. Are they hungry? Are they tired? Are they bored? Are they teething? Have they run off energy today or have they mostly been inside? These questions might give you a little more empathy and understanding into their behavior.

Now that we’ve talked a little about the why of whining, let’s talk about what you can do!

1. Try using sign language with your child. It does not have to be formal, as long as you are consistent and use the same hand motion each time. The purpose is to give your child an easy way to ask for something without having to use words.
   • If you think your child might be hungry, ask if they are hungry, while using a sign. It can be as simple as bringing your hand to your mouth.
2. Because your little one does not have words to express needs and feelings, whining is often a sign of frustration. Give them the words they do not have while helping them with a task while staying calm and using a soothing voice.
   • “I can see you are really frustrated that you can’t put the train tracks together. Can I help you put it together?”
3. Whining could just mean your child is bored and needs a change of scenery.
   • Sometimes going outside, going for a car ride, or playing a game together can change the dynamic enough to stop your child’s whining.