When our children get in the car or get home from school, we naturally want to hear all about their day! We want to know if they like their teacher, what the best thing was, if they had any challenges, and who they played with on the playground. We’re caring and curious – and that is a good thing! However, none of those questions ever get answers with much detail.

The truth is, getting home after a day away at school is a transition period for kids. They’re transitioning from the schedules, expectations, and social dynamics of school to the routines, expectations, and family dynamics of home. So, greeting our little ones with lots of questions can feel more like an interrogation instead of what we intend it to be which is just genuine curiosity and that can be counterproductive for making the transition back home, a smooth one.

When kids feel bombarded with questions, they’re more likely to get overwhelmed, confused, frustrated, or just feel like there is a lot of pressure on them. So, instead of asking questions, try make statements instead.

Instead of: “How was your day?” 

Try: “That was a long day! Here’s a snack if you want one.”

Instead of: “What is your teacher like?” 

Try: “In a little while let’s go swing. I’d love to hear about your day.”

Instead of: “What’s wrong?”

Try: “You look tired. It was a long day for me too.”

Giving children time and space to process their day, settle their mind, and rest or get a snack is such a gift. And we can easily let them know we are interested in their day without bombarding them with questions.

By giving space in a way that shows that we are supportive, it allows children to naturally open up about their day on their terms and when they are ready. This often happens in moments of connection and safety. A bedtime routine that includes a daily wrap up Is a great way to provide the opportunity for everyone to talk about and process any big feelings that may have come up throughout the day.

This poem, written by Sonnett Simmons, is a beautiful way to end a long day for you and your child. Use it as a way to open up dialogue and connect.

I Love Me

It’s ok to feel happy.

It’s ok to feel mad.

It’s ok to feel excited.

It’s ok to feel sad.

Everyday I have feelings. They come and they go.

Everyday I am grateful as I learn, and I grow.

I love who I am.

I love what I do.

I love that I am learning every day, more with you.

I love every inch of me, outside and in.

I can’t wait for tomorrow. Let’s do it again!

Connection exercise:

What was your thorn of the day (the worst part)?

How did you feel about it?

What was your flower of the day (the best part). 

How did you feel about it?

What was your bud or seed (something you are looking forward to)?

What did you need?

Use this exercise to share about your day too. Allow all feelings and validate any challenges that came up for your child, even if they don’t seem like a big deal to you. Try to avoid wearing the “fix it” hat or lecturing. Sometimes the best way to show up for our children is to just let them know that they are heard, seen and loved…no matter what.