Anxiety and stress are normal feelings in these times of uncertainty. Our children may be overhearing a lot of conversations and background information (i.e. news) that can be confusing for them. Most often, behaviors are how children communicate that they are having big and difficult feelings and can often show up as clinginess, tantrums, withdrawal and even regression. It is especially important during these difficult times that we try and meet these behaviors with a little extra patience, kindness and understanding.

Our Parenting Educators are often asked by caregivers how they can help support children when they are struggling with big feelings and behaviors. Here are a few ways to help your little ones navigate their difficult feelings:

• Ask questions and listen attentively: Drawing, telling stories and playing games are all good ways to get kids talking. Show them you are really listening by getting down to their level and giving them your undistracted attention.
• Acknowledge their feelings: Let your children know that its ok and normal to feel scared, worried, frustrated or sad. Be sure to not minimize or dismiss their feelings. “I hear what you’re saying…”
• Identify the problem: If you can get to the underlying problem, it can be helpful to state it out loud. This helps your child to feel heard and validated. “You want to go to the playground.”
• Give the feeling a name: When feelings are difficult or big, children can struggle with identifying the specific feeling. Help your child develop their emotional vocabulary by naming it for them. “oh, it’s so frustrating!”
• Connect the feelings to the situation: Help your child make the connection from their feeling to the problem they are experiencing. This can help your child organize their feelings. “You’re frustrated because you want to go outside and play at the playground.”
• Be honest and clear with expectations: Just as it is important to validate your children’s difficult feelings, it’s equally important to be clear in setting limits and expectations when necessary. This is a good time to offer an alternative option when there is one. “It’s frustrating that we can’t go to the playground. I know you really want to go. How about we go outside on a nature walk in our backyard and see what we can find?”

Whether your child’s difficult feelings are about something big or something seemingly simple, like going to the playground, your response is the same; children need to have all of their feelings accepted and respected and know that they can go to you with all of their feelings, even the difficult ones.

Let us know how you are helping your little ones with some of their big feelings during this time! We look forward to hearing from you!

For more information on helping children  to identify and express their big feelings, take a look at this article: https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/helping-kids-identify-and-express-feelings