At Forty Carrots Family Center, we often talk about “filling a child’s emotional cup.” Many times, we hear families say that this concept can feel like a big task in an already busy day – that they just don’t have the time to give one on one time with their child or hours of undivided attention. The truth is that it doesn’t have to be a huge investment of time. The small moments matter, and they have the ability to make a big impact. When we connect with our children in those small moments, we are filling their emotional cup. We are letting them know that they are seen, valued and worthy.

Bedtime provides a great opportunity to incorporate small moments of connection. The nightly routine of bath time, putting on pajamas or brushing teeth are all opportunities to connect and pour into your little one’s emotional cup and can have a profound effect on them before the long nighttime stretch of separation.

Check out these simple ideas for connecting with your child at bedtime, and maybe come up with a few of your own to try.

• Read books together with a flashlight
• Take turns telling each other three good things from the day (anything goes!)
• Do a body scan. “Before I leave the room, I need to make sure you have all your fingers and toes. Let’s count them together really quick.”
• Make a pretend phone call to them as you are leaving the room. “Ring Ring! Oh hey, I jut wanted to call and say sweet dreams, I love you!”
• Ask them a question to get their mind ready for rest. “What will you think about before you fall asleep tonight?”
• Tell them about your favorite memory of them from the day.
• Create a special bedtime handshake.
• Tell them something you look forward to doing together.
• Ask them to pick and animal and both of you pretend to be that animal as you say goodnight.

Remember that no effort to connect, no matter how small is ever wasted. The little things ARE the big things and it’s in those moments of intentionally showing up that create a trusting, loving relationship where your child feels safe and valued. Research shows that a child who has the foundation of a healthy secure attachment with a trusted caregiver will have more successful relationships throughout their entire lives.