Divorce is one of life’s most significant transitions, not just for you and your partner, but for your children as well. Here in Sarasota and Manatee Counties, we meet families every week navigating these changes with courage. Whatever the decision to separate may be, ultimately it’s about finding the best path forward — even though the change can feel overwhelming for young hearts.

You’ll most likely be navigating complex feelings yourself, all while trying to protect your children’s emotional well-being.

But here’s the truth: your children can emerge from this experience feeling safe, loved, and secure, all because you’re taking the time to show up with intention, compassion, and care. While the structure of your family may be changing, your role as their parent remains unshakable.

Here are some thoughtful, emotionally attuned ways to support your children through divorce, helping them process their feelings while maintaining a sense of safety, consistency, and unconditional love.

Lead with Honesty – Reassure with Love

Before you talk with your children, take time to align with your co-parent on the key messages. You don’t have to have all the answers, but what matters most is that your words are calm, consistent, and free of blame.

Use language that’s simple, age-appropriate, and emotionally safe. For example:

“We’ve decided we don’t want to be married anymore, but we will always be your parents.”

“You are not the reason this is happening. This is our grown-up decision.”

“We love you very much, and that will never change.”

Parenting Education Director Laura Josephson, MA, emphasizes that children crave reassurance more than details. “The key is to affirm that their place in your life is unshakable, even when family structure shifts,” she notes

Make Space for Feelings Without Trying to Fix Them All

Children process change differently from adults. Their feelings may come out as silence, clinginess, acting out, or even cheerful indifference. These reactions are all normal.

• What they need most is permission to feel.

• Let them know it’s okay to be sad, confused, or even angry.

• Use phrases like, “It’s okay to feel whatever you feel,” or “You can always talk to me even if it’s hard.”

Clinical Director Erika Kohne, LMHC/S, reminds parents: “Children don’t need us to erase their feelings. What matters is showing up with steady presence — that’s what helps them feel anchored through change”

Consistency Is Comfort: Maintain Routines and Rituals

During times of change, consistency is comforting. Keep familiar routines in place, whether it’s bedtime stories, Saturday morning pancakes, or after-school snack time.

Even as they move between two homes, try to mirror certain rituals in each space:

• Similar bedtimes and mealtime routines

• The same special book or toy in each home

• Predictable schedules and calendars (visual ones can be helpful!)

Routines don’t just keep life organized, they send a powerful message: life goes on, and you are still cared for in every corner of it. Sarasota parents often tell us that these “small” rituals become the big anchors of stability for their children.

Create a Soft Landing in Both Homes

Children feel safest when they have a sense of belonging. In both homes, make a space that feels like theirs, not just a sleepover bag in the corner.

• Let them help choose bedding, colors, or small décor touches.

• Keep essentials (toothbrushes, pajamas, favorite books) in both places to reduce stress.

• Encourage them to bring something that connects the two homes, like a family photo, a drawing, or a comfort item.

Remember, it’s not about square footage or design — it’s about creating a warm, personal sanctuary where they feel seen and settled.

Keep the Communication Door Open

Children might not ask all their questions right away. They may circle back days or even months later with new worries or curiosities. Be open to ongoing conversations, and gently invite check-ins.

Try:

“I’ve been thinking about how you’re doing lately. Want to talk?”

“Is there anything on your mind about the changes we’ve had?”

Stay curious, not intrusive. And don’t worry if they don’t want to talk in the moment. What matters is that you’re available when they’re ready.

Model Respect & Teamwork

Children learn how to handle conflict by watching how you manage yours. Even if you’re no longer married partners, you’re still partners in parenting — and your children will benefit from seeing you communicate with respect and cooperation.

• Avoid criticism of the other parent in front of your children.

• Share calendars, school notes, and updates openly.

• If tensions rise, step away rather than engage in front of the kids.

When they see you working together, even imperfectly, they learn that love, respect, and family can take many forms.

You Don’t Need To Walk It Alone: Support Is Strength

This journey is emotional for everyone. And just like your children need support, so do you.

Lean into trusted resources like parenting classes, counseling, and peer support groups. Let teachers or school counselors know what’s going on so they can help keep a watchful, supportive eye.

And don’t hesitate to reach out to Forty Carrots Family Center. From our Sarasota campus to library-based programs across Manatee, we’re here to help you navigate each step with parenting guidance, emotional support, and tools to foster resilience in your family.

“Reaching out isn’t a weakness — it’s a model of strength that children carry with them for life,” says Kohne

Final Thoughts: You Are Still Their Safe Place

Divorce is a big transition, yes. But it doesn’t have to define your family; it can simply reshape it.

What your children need most isn’t perfection. It’s your steadiness, your love, your patience, and your presence.

At Forty Carrots Family Center, we’ve seen Sarasota and Manatee families discover resilience they never knew they had. You are still their safe place. You are still their home.

We Are Here to Help

Need extra support? Forty Carrots offers professional Child & Family Therapy services in Sarasota and Manatee Counties. Our licensed therapists provide compassionate care for children, parents, and families navigating change, grief, or transition.

Together, We Strengthen Sarasota Families

Forty Carrots Family Center supports more than 5,000 children and families each year across Sarasota and Manatee Counties. From nationally accredited preschool programs to parenting education and mental health support, we are committed to strengthening families and building a healthier community. If you’re looking to partner with a top educational nonprofit in Sarasota, your support helps ensure these essential services remain available to families in need.