There’s no easy way to say it: grieving the loss of a parent while raising your children is one of the most tender and difficult paths you can walk. Here in Sarasota, we meet parents every week who are navigating loss while still showing up for their families. You may be waking up each day feeling fragile, uncertain, or overwhelmed, all while trying to hold space for your children’s sadness, confusion, or questions.

Your instinct is to protect them, but how can you when your own heart is breaking too?

The answer isn’t perfection. It’s presence.

At Forty Carrots Family Center, where we’ve supported families across Sarasota and Manatee Counties for more than 30 years, we remind parents that you don’t have to have it all together. You don’t need to hide your tears or shield your children from the truth of what it means to love and lose. What your children need most is you—honest, loving, and doing your best. And that is enough.

Here are some gentle, grounded ways to support your children through grief, even as you navigate your own.

Let Yourself Grieve in Front of Them

It’s OK—more than OK—for your children to see that you’re sad. Crying in front of them doesn’t make you weak. It shows them that grief is real and that expressing emotion is safe. You’re modeling something powerful: that love and loss live side by side, and that it’s human to feel deeply.

You could say:

“I’m feeling sad today because I miss Grandma.”

“Sometimes I cry because my heart is missing someone I love.”

Clinical Director Erika Kohne, LMHC/S, explains: “When parents model that it’s safe to cry and talk about missing someone, children learn that expressing emotion is healthy.” Erika and her team at Forty Carrots guide Sarasota families through moments of loss, showing that openness can actually strengthen children’s ability to cope

Keep the Conversation Open — Even If It’s Imperfect

Children process grief differently at every age. Your 12-year-old might ask deep questions about death and legacy. Your 10-year-old might seem “fine” one moment and have a meltdown the next. Let them know the door is open, always.

You may want to say:

“You can ask me anything, even the hard questions.”

“If you ever want to talk about Grandma or how you’re feeling about her not being around anymore, I’m here.”

“Sometimes I don’t have the answers, but we can wonder about it together.”

Parenting Education Director Laura Josephson, MA, reminds parents: “Conversations don’t have to be perfect to matter. Children need reassurance that their questions are welcome, even if we don’t always have the answers.” Through Sarasota and Manatee parenting education groups, Laura sees how openness fosters resilience for both children and caregivers.

Share Memories

One of the most healing things you can do as a family is to keep your loved one present through memory, story, and ritual. Some ideas to do together:

• Look through old photo albums.
• Cook a favorite recipe of the person who passed.
• Start a simple tradition in their honor, like lighting a candle on special days or telling “Grandma stories” at dinner.

These moments don’t erase the sadness. But they remind your children (and you) that grief and connection can coexist. Families in Sarasota often tell us how meaningful it feels to weave their loved one’s memory into daily life.

Give Everyone Space to Feel Differently

Your grief will look different from your child’s, and even your children may grieve in entirely different ways. Some might want to talk. Others may act out, withdraw, or suddenly seem “fine.”

You might say:

• “Everyone feels things in their own way and in their own time.”
• “However you feel, it’s OK with me. You’re not doing it wrong.”

There is no linear path through loss, only love and time.

Maintain Structure — But with Flexibility

Daily routines can feel both impossible and strangely grounding when you’re grieving. Try to keep bedtimes, meals, and school routines steady where possible. These anchors give your children a sense of stability when the emotional world feels uncertain.

But also be kind to yourself. Not every meal has to be homemade. Not every homework sheet needs to be perfect. Sometimes compassion means lowering the bar and saying, “This is enough for today.”

As Sarasota parents in our workshops often discover, children thrive when there’s balance—structure that reassures them, and flexibility that allows for healing.

Reach Out for Support — Together or Separately

You don’t have to carry this alone. Whether it’s a grief counselor, a support group, your faith community, or resources like parenting education and therapy at Forty Carrots Family Center, there are places designed to walk alongside you.

You might also consider child-focused grief support services, books, or expressive arts programs where kids can process through creativity and play. Sarasota is fortunate to have a strong network of mental health professionals and family-centered programs, and Forty Carrots is here to connect you with the right support.

“It shows children that asking for help is courageous, not a weakness,” Kohne emphasizes. When children see their parents seeking support, it normalizes resilience as part of family life

Remember: Love Doesn’t End Here

Loss can shake the very foundation of a family. But it also reminds us of the extraordinary power of love.

Tell your children:

“Grandma’s love didn’t stop when she died. It lives in us now.”

“Everything she gave us—the hugs, the laughs, the memories—those are still ours to cherish and remember her by.”

You are helping them carry that love forward, and even in your grief, you are showing them how.

Final Thought: Grieving Doesn’t Make You Less of a Parent. It Makes You Human.

You may not feel like you’re doing enough. But your presence and your effort, your truth, your care, are everything your children need right now.

At Forty Carrots Family Center, we’ve seen firsthand that Sarasota parents are stronger and more resilient than they realize. “You don’t need to be perfect, you just need to be present,” Josephson says. “That presence is what children remember and rely on most.”

Your children don’t need you to be perfect. They need you to be real. And you’re already doing that—beautifully.

If your family is grieving, you don’t have to go through it alone.

Forty Carrots Family Center offers parenting support and child therapy services across Sarasota and Manatee Counties. Our licensed professionals and educators are here to walk alongside you with care, resources, and community connections.

Want a simple reminder you can keep handy?
We’ve created a one-page guide with the key steps from this article — perfect to print or save on your phone when you need encouragement.
 Click here to download the guide