It’s not uncommon for a baby’s behavior to trigger feelings of frustration, anger, or other negative emotions in parents or caregivers. Triggers, which are personal to us, trigger our autonomic nervous system which helps us to feel regulated or dysregulated. Developing and stabilizing our own emotional response is what makes us more resilient. It takes making sense of and integrating our past while finding as many ways as you can to expose your emotional nervous system to calm. When you can calm this, then you can use your cognitive thinking brain. Acknowledge that you feel triggered. Ask, why am I feeling this way? 

Some reason may include:

• Feeling overwhelmed by the demands of caring for a young child. 
• You have unrealistic expectations of parenting.
• You’re feeling like you don’t have the skills or resources to handle certain situations.
• You’re feeling overworked or overscheduled.
• You’re feeling like you are unsupported and alone in parenting or your needs are being ignored or invalidated.

When you can calm this thinking, then you can use your cognitive thinking brain. If your baby’s behavior is triggering you, it may be helpful to take a step back and try to understand what’s causing those feelings. Once you have a better understanding of what’s causing your emotions, you can start to take steps to address them.

Here are some ways to address your emotions:

• Try talking to a trusted friend or family member, a therapist, or a parenting support group to get some perspective and support. 
• Try practicing self-care activities such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies that you enjoy.
•  Don’t forget to take breaks when you need them – it’s okay to ask for help or to take some time for yourself when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

It’s important to remember that it’s normal to experience these kinds of emotions as a parent, and that it doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent or that you don’t love your child. However, it’s also important to recognize when these emotions are becoming overwhelming or interfering with your ability to care for your child in a loving and healthy way. This is not an easy task- It takes a lot of repetition, dedication, and daily effort.