Children don’t misbehave—their behavior is a way of communicating. The purpose of discipline for young children is to teach coping skills and discourage inappropriate behavior. One way to do this is by using the positive parenting technique of a “time-in.”

What is a Time-In?

Time-Ins give you a chance to explore positive parenting skills and problem solve difficult situations alongside your child. During a time-in, we invite the child to express their feelings and point of view while listening and empathizing with them. Giving alternatives to time-outs helps to focus on connection with your child—where true discipline, communication, and learning can take place and helps to make them feel understood as they calm down.

Here are some time-ins for you to try:

• Take a break together- Supportive relationships can help develop neural connections and calm your child down. 
• Draw a picture together- Allow your child to express his feelings. Work on problem solving together.
• Give a second chance- Believe that they can do the right thing and give them the opportunity to try again. Allow them to deal with the natural consequences of their actions while asking questions and encouraging your child when they make an improvement in their behavior.
• Allow them to feel their feelings- Try naming their emotions by saying, “You’re feeling so sad right now.” Assure them that it’s ok.
• Try a breathing exercise- Deep breathing helps get more oxygen into your bloodstream, opening your capillaries. It has a physical effect on your body to help you calm down and lower stress.
• Use a chill out corner- Create a space in your home with the sole intent of being a safe space for a child to go to when they feel their emotions are running too high and they need to regain their emotional and physical control. 

When the child is calm, make sure to explain why the behavior is not okay and help the child solve the situation.  It is so important to listen to what the child is saying and respect the child’s perspective and feelings.