Caregivers often ask, “What do I do when my child throws?” Although it’s developmentally normal, throwing can be really frustrating for parents, but just know it’s a very common behavior for babies, toddlers and even some big kids!

Knowing how to respond to throwing can be tricky because kids throw for different reasons and sometimes for no reason at all!

Like all behaviors, throwing is communicative. When our kids are trying to communicate something through their behaviors, it’s up to us to try to figure out what they are trying to say and help them communicate it in a more effective and appropriate way.

BE PROACTIVE:
Give lots of attention for all of the desired behaviors you want to see more of, including communicating what they want and playing gently with toys and others.

BE POSITIVE:
Avoid punishing or saying, “No throwing” or “Don’t” or “Stop” – try to use positive phrasing and tell them what they can do instead – “let’s put the balls in the bucket!”

Check out these specific situations and strategies you can use that address the WHY of throwing:

Throwing food:
Use this opportunity to teach them to communicate they are “all done” (words or sign language).
Consider using a “no-thank you” bowl next to their plate to place unwanted foods.

Throwing toys:
Narrate/teach them to ask for your attention, such as “Play with me” (or teach the sign for “play”).
Model appropriate toy play, including which toys are okay to throw and where.
Use redirection and allow them to throw designated objects into a designated place.

Throwing objects at people:
Narrate/teach them to ask for attention or connection when they need it.
Set a limit and keep it, that you won’t let them throw objects at people/baby/pets; offer a choice of what they CAN do, including what/where to throw.

Throwing objects because they are mad/frustrated:
Teach them to ask for help, model for them how that looks, “you needed help opening that, and you got frustrated. Next time ask me so that I can help you.”

Teach them feelings words and how to express them, like “I’m mad,” then taking a deep breath and blowing it out.
Hold your boundary; offer a choice, where/what they can throw. “I can see that you are SO angry right now, but I can’t let you throw that toy at your brother. Why don’t we throw these beanbags into this bucket instead?”