Every child is wired to love and be loved, but did you know each child may feel that love in different ways? According to Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages of Children, learning how your little one best receives love can build a deep and lasting connection.

Even toddlers and preschoolers show early signs of their “love language,” and tuning into them can help you meet their emotional needs more effectively.

What Are the 5 Love Languages?

1. Physical Touch– Your child thrives on hugs, cuddles, lap time, and holding hands.

2. Words of Affirmation– They light up when you say “I’m proud of you” or “You’re so kind!”

3. Quality Time– They want your undivided attention, playing, talking, or just being with you.

4. Gifts– Thoughtful surprises, even a rock from the park, make them feel special.

5. Acts of Service– They feel loved when you help fix a broken toy or tie their shoes with care.

How to Spot Your Child’s Love Language

Children under 5 may not clearly show just one love language but you might notice a preference. For example:

• Do they ask to be picked up a lot? (Physical Touch)
• Do they beam when you praise them? (Words of Affirmation)
• Do they follow you everywhere? (Quality Time)
• Do they keep small treasures? (Gifts)
• Do they often ask you for help with simple tasks? (Acts of Service)

It’s okay if your child seems to respond to all five, that’s common at this age. Over time, one or two may stand out more.

When you regularly “speak” your child’s love language, they feel safe, seen, and valued. As their need for connection is met, tantrums and clinginess may decrease, and their bond with you grows stronger. Meeting their unique emotional needs helps keep their “emotional tank” full and that sense of security becomes the foundation for learning, growing, and confidently exploring their world.

Your love is already there, learning to express it in the ways your child feels it most is like turning the volume up. Whether it’s snuggles, kind words, time together, tiny gifts, or helpful acts, each one sends the same message:
“You matter. You are loved.”

The post The Love Languages of Young Children: Speaking Their Heart’s Language appeared first on Forty Carrots Family Center.

In the busy world of parenting young children, big emotions, both theirs and ours, can show up quickly. The Circle of Security approach reminds us that our children don’t need perfection; they need connection. That’s where the idea of time-outs for us and time-ins for them becomes powerful.

Traditional time-outs often focus on stopping a child’s behavior by sending them away. But young children don’t learn best through isolation; they learn through co-regulation, which means calming with the help of a trusted adult. When a child is having a hard moment, a time-in gives them a safe space with us nearby, showing, “I’m here with you while you figure out these big feelings.” This builds security and teaches emotional regulation through connection, not separation.

At the same time, parents also need space to breathe. A time-out for us is not abandoning our child, it’s a healthy pause to steady ourselves. When we feel overwhelmed, stepping away for a moment helps us return as the calm, safe base our child needs.

Circle of Security teaches that when we are regulated, we can be our child’s secure anchor. Time-ins teach connection. Parent time-outs protect that connection. Together, they create a rhythm of safety, understanding, and emotional growth for both parent and child.

Here’s an example:

Your three-year-old throws a toy after being told it’s time to clean up. You feel your frustration rising.

• Instead of sending them to another room, you take a slow breath and say, “We’re both having big feelings right now. I’m going to take a quick break to calm my body, and then we’ll sit together.” You step aside for a moment to breathe. This is your parent time-out.
• When you return, you gently sit next to your child and say, “I’m here. That was a big feeling. Let’s calm together.” This time-in lets your child know they are not alone with their emotions.

They learn: Feelings are okay, and I have a safe place to go when I don’t know what to do with them.

The post Time-Out For Us, Time-In For Our Child appeared first on Forty Carrots Family Center.

Impulse control is the ability to pause, think, and choose a response rather than acting on an immediate urge. For young children, this skill is still developing, especially under age 3, when the part of the brain responsible for self-control is not yet mature. Even in the toddler and preschool years, children may struggle with waiting, sharing, or calming big feelings. That’s completely normal, learning impulse control takes time and practice.

Here are some simple ways you can support your child’s growth:

• Set clear and simple expectations. Use short phrases like “gentle hands” or “we wait our turn.” 
• Create a safe, structured space. A child-proofed environment reduces temptations and allows safe exploration. 
• Distract and redirect. If your child is heading toward trouble, offer a new toy or activity to shift their focus. 
• Use positive reinforcement. Praise or small rewards help children feel proud of making good choices. 
• Teach calming strategies. Show them how to take deep breaths, count to three, or squeeze a stress ball. 
• Offer sensory outlets. Clay, stress balls, or outdoor play can help release energy in healthy ways. 
• Model patience and consistency. Children learn by watching you. Stay calm, repeat expectations, and celebrate progress.

Remember, self-control doesn’t happen overnight. Toddlers and preschoolers will make mistakes as they learn, but with your patience, guidance, and encouragement, they’ll continue to grow stronger in managing their impulses. Stay calm, provide positive guidance, and celebrate their small victories along the way.

The post Impulse Control appeared first on Forty Carrots Family Center.

Ever wonder why your toddler throws their food, has a meltdown over socks, or suddenly hits a sibling for no reason? It might seem random, but most behavior in young children is actually a message in disguise.

That’s where becoming a behavior detective comes in. Instead of reacting right away, you pause, look for clues, and try to understand what your child is really telling you.

Behavior Is Communication

For young children, language is still developing. So instead of saying, “I’m tired,” “I feel left out,” or “That’s too loud,” they might cry, push, hide, or scream. Their behavior is their way of asking for help or expressing an unmet need.

Ask Yourself These 3 Questions:

1. What happened before the behavior?
   Did something trigger your child like hunger, frustration, or a transition? 
2. What might my child be feeling?
   Are they tired, overstimulated, bored, anxious, or needing attention? 
3. What do they need in this moment?
   Comfort, connection, a break, a snack, or help with a big feeling?

For Example:

The Behavior: Your 4-year-old suddenly dumps all the puzzle pieces on the floor and yells, “This is boring!”

What’s Beneath the Surface?

• They may feel overwhelmed because the puzzle is too hard.
• They may need connection, maybe they want you to play with them.
• They may be tired and unable to focus.

Behavior Detective Response:
“Looks like that puzzle felt really frustrating. Do you want a different activity, or would you like me to help you with it?”

When you act like a behavior detective, you help your child feel understood instead of punished, learn how to name and manage their feelings, and build trust and emotional safety. And you’ll feel more confident, too, because you’re responding with intention, not just reacting. Your child isn’t giving you a hard time; they’re having a hard time. When you look beneath the behavior, you build connection and teach the skills they need to grow.

The post Be a Behavior Detective: Understanding Your Child’s Actions appeared first on Forty Carrots Family Center.

Parenting a toddler or preschooler can feel like a rollercoaster. One minute they’re snuggling in your lap, the next they’re melting down over the wrong color cup. It’s easy to feel unsure about how to handle all the big feelings and boundary-pushing that come with early childhood. That’s where positive discipline comes in.

What Is Positive Discipline?

Positive discipline is not about punishment. It’s about teaching, guiding, and building connections with your child while setting clear and respectful boundaries. It helps young children learn how to manage their emotions, follow rules, and develop problem-solving skills, all in a safe, nurturing environment.

Why It Works for Ages 0–5

At this stage, children are still learning how to express themselves and what behavior is expected. Their brains are developing rapidly, especially the areas related to impulse control and emotions. Positive discipline works with your child’s development, not against it.

Key Strategies for Positive Discipline

1. Connect Before You Correct
   Get down to their level. Use eye contact and a calm tone. Kids listen better when they feel seen and safe.
2. Set Clear, Simple Limits
   Use short, age-appropriate phrases: “We use gentle hands,” or “It’s time to clean up.”
3. Offer Choices
   Giving toddlers choices helps them feel a sense of control: “Would you like the red cup or the blue cup?”
4. Redirect and Teach
   Instead of “No hitting,” say, “Hands are for helping. Let’s take a break together and calm down.”
5. Stay Consistent
   Young children thrive on routine and predictability. Gentle repetition helps them learn what to expect. 

Positive discipline helps your child:

• Build self-regulation
• Feel safe and connected
• Learn boundaries through kindness
• Grow up with empathy and confidence 

And it helps you:

• Feel calmer and more confident as a parent
• Strengthen your bond with your child
• Guide behavior without yelling, shaming, or power struggles 

Positive discipline isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being present, patient, and willing to repair when things go sideways (because they will!). With love, limits, and lots of practice, your little one will learn and grow, and so will you.

The post Positive Discipline for Little Ones: Teaching with Love and Limits appeared first on Forty Carrots Family Center.

To adults, play might look like just fun and games, but for young children, play is powerful work. It’s how they explore the world, make sense of their emotions, and build the foundation for learning and relationships.

The Brain on Play

Play activates multiple parts of a child’s developing brain. Whether they’re stacking blocks, pretending to be a doctor, or racing toy cars, they are:

• Strengthening problem-solving and attention
• Building language and motor skills
• Practicing emotional regulation and social connection

According to the Harvard Center on the Developing Child, play is a core experience that helps children build the skills they need for school and life including creativity, flexibility, and self-control.

Play Builds Emotional Strength

Through play, children:

• Express big feelings in a safe way (e.g., acting out fear, excitement, or frustration)
• Practice coping skills (like trying again after a tower falls)
• Learn empathy and cooperation through imaginary and social play

How Parents Can Support Play

• Follow their lead: Let your child choose the activity and guide the play.
• Join in without taking over: Sit on the floor and enter their world.
• Make time for unstructured play every day, even 15–20 minutes.

You don’t need fancy toys. Cardboard boxes, spoons, or dress-up clothes can spark hours of learning and connection.

The post Why Play Is Important for Your Child’s Brain and Emotions appeared first on Forty Carrots Family Center.

From the very beginning, children are wired to seek safety, connection, and reassurance from their caregivers. Building trust and a secure relationship with your child is one of the most powerful gifts you can give them, and it starts early and evolves as they grow.

Infants (0–1 year): Safety Through Presence

In the first year, babies learn whether the world is a safe place based on how caregivers respond to their needs. When you consistently comfort your baby, respond to their cries, and hold them close, you’re helping form the foundation of secure attachment.

At this stage, predictability and gentle attunement like eye contact, holding, and soothing routines, help build a sense of safety.

Toddlers (1–3 years): Connection and Exploration

Toddlers are curious explorers, constantly going between independence and needing reassurance. Trust is built by being a safe base they can return to, especially when they’re overwhelmed.

According to the Circle of Security, your job is to be “bigger, stronger, wiser, and kind”, able to follow their lead when appropriate and take charge when needed.

• Validate big emotions, even if behavior needs guidance.
• Offer choices when possible, to build confidence.
• Maintain consistent boundaries with kindness.

Preschoolers (4–5 years): Emotional Coaching

As children’s imaginations and social worlds expand, so do their emotional needs. They might experience fears, jealousy, or frustration and they need help understanding what they’re feeling.

• Listen with empathy, even when correcting behavior.
• Use simple language to name feelings.
• Model repair by apologizing and reconnecting after conflict.

Trust is Built Over Time

No parent is perfect, and you don’t need to be. Trust grows through repairing mistakes, showing up again, and being willing to learn. The key isn’t to prevent all discomfort, but to be the person who helps your child understand and navigate it.

The post Building Trust and Security at Every Age appeared first on Forty Carrots Family Center.

In the early years of parenting, life can feel like a whirlwind of meals, messes, and meltdowns. But in the midst of the daily chaos, something powerful is happening,  your relationship with your child is taking root.

One of the most meaningful ways to nurture that relationship is through everyday connection rituals. These are the small, repeated moments that create a sense of safety, love, and belonging. Rituals are more than routines. They’re intentional acts of connection that say, “I see you. I’m here. We belong together.” These moments build trust, regulate emotions, and help children feel secure in a fast-changing world.

Simple Rituals That Strengthen Bonds

You don’t need anything fancy. Try weaving connection into things you’re already doing:

• Morning Snuggle Time: A few quiet minutes of cuddling or talking before the day begins.
• Special Goodbye Rituals: A secret handshake, a kiss on both cheeks, or a wave from the window.
• Mealtime Check-ins: Asking “What was the best part of your day?” or “What made you laugh today?”
• Bedtime Routines: Reading the same story, sharing three things you love about each other, or singing a special song.
• Repair Moments: After a tough moment, gently reconnect. Say, “I’m sorry for yelling. I love you no matter what.”

Children don’t need perfection, they need presence. Even five minutes of focused attention can fill your child’s emotional cup for hours. When connection is built into your daily rhythm, it becomes the strong foundation they carry with them, even when you’re apart.

The post Everyday Rituals That Build Connections appeared first on Forty Carrots Family Center.

If you’ve ever held your crying toddler and felt them slowly relax in your arms, you’ve already practiced co-regulation even if you didn’t know the term.

What Is Co-Regulation?

Co-regulation is the process of helping a child manage their emotions by offering calm, steady support. Before young children can regulate their feelings on their own, they rely on a trusted adult to help them feel safe, soothed, and understood.

Think of it as training wheels for emotional development. Just like children need help learning to walk or talk, they also need help learning how to calm down when they’re overwhelmed.

Co-regulation is essential in early childhood because:

• It builds brain pathways for self-control and emotional awareness.
• It helps children feel safe and connected, which is key for learning.
  It teaches children that all feelings are okay, and they don’t have to handle big emotions alone.

Children who experience consistent co-regulation are more likely to:

• Develop stronger emotional regulation skills
• Show greater empathy
• Form secure attachments

How to Co-Regulate With Your Child

You don’t need to be perfect, just present and supportive. Try:

• Staying calm even when your child isn’t
• Using soft tones and gentle touch
• Naming the emotion: “You’re feeling frustrated because it’s hard to wait.”
• Offering comfort: “I’m here. Let’s take some deep breaths together.”

Co-regulation isn’t about fixing emotions or stopping meltdowns, it’s about being with your child as they move through them. Over time, this shared calm helps children learn how to manage emotions on their own.

The post What Is Co-Regulation and Why It Matters appeared first on Forty Carrots Family Center.

Divorce is one of life’s most significant transitions, not just for you and your partner, but for your children as well. Here in Sarasota and Manatee Counties, we meet families every week navigating these changes with courage. Whatever the decision to separate may be, ultimately it’s about finding the best path forward — even though the change can feel overwhelming for young hearts.

You’ll most likely be navigating complex feelings yourself, all while trying to protect your children’s emotional well-being.

But here’s the truth: your children can emerge from this experience feeling safe, loved, and secure, all because you’re taking the time to show up with intention, compassion, and care. While the structure of your family may be changing, your role as their parent remains unshakable.

Here are some thoughtful, emotionally attuned ways to support your children through divorce, helping them process their feelings while maintaining a sense of safety, consistency, and unconditional love.

Lead with Honesty – Reassure with Love

Before you talk with your children, take time to align with your co-parent on the key messages. You don’t have to have all the answers, but what matters most is that your words are calm, consistent, and free of blame.

Use language that’s simple, age-appropriate, and emotionally safe. For example:

“We’ve decided we don’t want to be married anymore, but we will always be your parents.”

“You are not the reason this is happening. This is our grown-up decision.”

“We love you very much, and that will never change.”

Parenting Education Director Laura Josephson, MA, emphasizes that children crave reassurance more than details. “The key is to affirm that their place in your life is unshakable, even when family structure shifts,” she notes

Make Space for Feelings Without Trying to Fix Them All

Children process change differently from adults. Their feelings may come out as silence, clinginess, acting out, or even cheerful indifference. These reactions are all normal.

• What they need most is permission to feel.

• Let them know it’s okay to be sad, confused, or even angry.

• Use phrases like, “It’s okay to feel whatever you feel,” or “You can always talk to me even if it’s hard.”

Clinical Director Erika Kohne, LMHC/S, reminds parents: “Children don’t need us to erase their feelings. What matters is showing up with steady presence — that’s what helps them feel anchored through change”

Consistency Is Comfort: Maintain Routines and Rituals

During times of change, consistency is comforting. Keep familiar routines in place, whether it’s bedtime stories, Saturday morning pancakes, or after-school snack time.

Even as they move between two homes, try to mirror certain rituals in each space:

• Similar bedtimes and mealtime routines

• The same special book or toy in each home

• Predictable schedules and calendars (visual ones can be helpful!)

Routines don’t just keep life organized, they send a powerful message: life goes on, and you are still cared for in every corner of it. Sarasota parents often tell us that these “small” rituals become the big anchors of stability for their children.

Create a Soft Landing in Both Homes

Children feel safest when they have a sense of belonging. In both homes, make a space that feels like theirs, not just a sleepover bag in the corner.

• Let them help choose bedding, colors, or small décor touches.

• Keep essentials (toothbrushes, pajamas, favorite books) in both places to reduce stress.

• Encourage them to bring something that connects the two homes, like a family photo, a drawing, or a comfort item.

Remember, it’s not about square footage or design — it’s about creating a warm, personal sanctuary where they feel seen and settled.

Keep the Communication Door Open

Children might not ask all their questions right away. They may circle back days or even months later with new worries or curiosities. Be open to ongoing conversations, and gently invite check-ins.

Try:

“I’ve been thinking about how you’re doing lately. Want to talk?”

“Is there anything on your mind about the changes we’ve had?”

Stay curious, not intrusive. And don’t worry if they don’t want to talk in the moment. What matters is that you’re available when they’re ready.

Model Respect & Teamwork

Children learn how to handle conflict by watching how you manage yours. Even if you’re no longer married partners, you’re still partners in parenting — and your children will benefit from seeing you communicate with respect and cooperation.

• Avoid criticism of the other parent in front of your children.

• Share calendars, school notes, and updates openly.

• If tensions rise, step away rather than engage in front of the kids.

When they see you working together, even imperfectly, they learn that love, respect, and family can take many forms.

You Don’t Need To Walk It Alone: Support Is Strength

This journey is emotional for everyone. And just like your children need support, so do you.

Lean into trusted resources like parenting classes, counseling, and peer support groups. Let teachers or school counselors know what’s going on so they can help keep a watchful, supportive eye.

And don’t hesitate to reach out to Forty Carrots Family Center. From our Sarasota campus to library-based programs across Manatee, we’re here to help you navigate each step with parenting guidance, emotional support, and tools to foster resilience in your family.

“Reaching out isn’t a weakness — it’s a model of strength that children carry with them for life,” says Kohne

Final Thoughts: You Are Still Their Safe Place

Divorce is a big transition, yes. But it doesn’t have to define your family; it can simply reshape it.

What your children need most isn’t perfection. It’s your steadiness, your love, your patience, and your presence.

At Forty Carrots Family Center, we’ve seen Sarasota and Manatee families discover resilience they never knew they had. You are still their safe place. You are still their home.

We Are Here to Help

Need extra support? Forty Carrots offers professional Child & Family Therapy services in Sarasota and Manatee Counties. Our licensed therapists provide compassionate care for children, parents, and families navigating change, grief, or transition.

Together, We Strengthen Sarasota Families

Forty Carrots Family Center supports more than 5,000 children and families each year across Sarasota and Manatee Counties. From nationally accredited preschool programs to parenting education and mental health support, we are committed to strengthening families and building a healthier community. If you’re looking to partner with a top educational nonprofit in Sarasota, your support helps ensure these essential services remain available to families in need.

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