5 Steps for Lifeling Happiness

Aug 31, 2017

bigstock-Father-And-Son-Playing-On-The--120803873.jpgIt’s important to learn how to deal with adversity in life, but it is just as important to learn how to create and sustain joy.  Dr. Hallowell describes a cycle of five repeating steps that are childhood roots of adult happiness.  He feels the five cycle program should not only go on in childhood but throughout all of life.  

  • It begins with Connection.
    A child can begin creating joy by generating a connection in the form of unconditional love from an adult (one or both) in his/her life.  This forms basic trust early on, which is important for security, safety and the desire to take risks; the can-do attitude. 
  • Once the connection has been established, Play can begin. 
    Many children today spend too much time rushing from one activity to the next and not enough time playing.  When a child is playing, they are working and learning.  Play builds the imagination, teaches problem solving and cooperation, and generates joy among many other valuable developmental skills. 

  • While playing, a child soon finds the power of Practice
    It is rare to find the child who can ride a two-wheeler the first time or begin to walk without falling.  Practice makes perfect; practice becomes discipline.  Practice also opens the door to learning and to receiving help, teaching, or coaching. 

  • After a certain amount of practice, Mastery will develop. 
    The cries of mastery will be heard: “I can do it!” or “Look at me!”  That feeling of mastery lays the roots for self-esteem.  When a child can master something she hasn’t done before, she increases her self-esteem, confidence, leadership skills, etc.. 

  • The achievement of mastery leads to Recognition
    When children take their first steps, people cheer and take videos. When a preschooler rides a bike for the first time, he wants to do it again for others to see.  It is important for a child to feel valued and recognized after mastery to promote motivation.  Recognition leads to social connectedness (being validated/showing worth), which leads to motivation.

These five short steps cannot be left to chance to create “Can-Do” kids.  Parents, teachers, and all others can help children create joy for lifelong happiness. 



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Category: Parenting Topics